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I'm sorry for having to even write this, I know it's hard to digest but with the questions and support over all this time, I just really wanted to clarify for anyone needing that. I feel regret for him bc I know he didn't really want to do it as I said it was really impulsive and he did it so quickly and violently and that the guy I knew and loved was not anywhere in there, that is illness and the drugs were controlling him. I feel his death was very symbolic of how he felt about his mental illness and the demons he had in him either convinced him to do it or he had just had enough of it and ended it. Whatever was in him, he desperately wanted out so much to the point he was willing to die to get rid of it. He stabbed himself in the gut and chest and then walked into the forest and died. He always carried a knife with him, a big ass one, like 3 inches wide and 6-8 inches long.
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He was found in some woods behind someone's home and prior to him going on the woods he was seen screaming and hollering at someone who wasn't there so he was clearly having an episode brought on, most likely, by the drugs and alcohol and other things, too. The police showed up to his parents house later that night saying he had killed himself. His parents figured he just went somewhere else to hang with someone else bc when he was in town (he worked out of town like 46 weeks out of the year) he tried to catch up with as many of his friends as possible. The friend went to his parents house to see if maybe he went there or if they had heard from him bc it wasn't like him to just dip out like that with no contact or communication. He committed suicide very impulsively as he had plans the following week to work and he'd always told me he would never do that to his family, which he loved dearly, but that day, I believe he was probably on some kind of stimulant and drinking and he was at a bar with a friend and he just left all of a sudden. We had broken up but still lived together and both of us had moved on romantically but we had known each other for a long time and remained friends despite us not working in a romantic way. Whitney Elizabeth 18w Production he had schizophrenia and had a lot of issues with self harming prior to us dating.